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What connects us as a generation, connects us as individuals: common values, experiences, passions, and purpose (to name a few).  Don’t be quick to judge the person next to you on the train (or in the vehicle next to you) on your way to work, school, or other travels. Just because you were born a in a certain year, does not magically place you in a generation (Traditional, Baby Boomer, Gen X, Gen Y, Gen Z). I’ve written on this in an earlier post: Managing Individuals Across Generations.

Think about it the next time you are on your way to work…whether on a train, in your car, or walking. Look around you at the other people. Are they on their way to work as well? How do they view their work? Are they just collecting a paycheck until they retire? Are they working their way up the ladder? Are they in search of meaningful work? Work that allows them to be creative and contribute? What is it that they want to get out of their life’s work? Recognition? Freedom? What are you looking for in your work and career?

Your answer to that question is informed by many things: your past experiences in the workforce; the influence of your parents on the value of work; the events and experiences of your formative years. This last influence is what brings a generation together and connects them in their view of work. But be careful not to judge a book by it’s cover or a person’s generational personality by their (perceived) age. You may have more in common with that person (that team member, your boss, that new go-getter) than you think.

Why not have a conversation about it? With that other person…go ahead…you may be surprised at what you have in common…by what connects you. Talk one-to-one and leave the generational stereotypes behind.

Learn more about how to do this and other tools. tricks, and techniques at Coaching Across Generations – The Workshop.

Share your answer to “Why do you work?” with me here!

Ciao,

~Linda

A few weeks ago a respected coach colleague (Colin Ude-Lewis) asked if I would be a guest writer for an upcoming issue of his newsletter: Coaches Mojo.  At once I was excited and a bit nervous. Not just 2 days prior, I was on a call with my coach discussing how I wanted to be a writer some day. Well here it was, the perfect writing opportunity – presenting itself right on queue. Do I take action and ‘become’ a writer (one step closer, at least)? Or do I stay in my comfort zone and pass on this opportunity? It was this very question that made me realize how many decisions we make each day that determine the person we become. If I truly wanted to become a writer, I had to start making decisions right now which support that objective. I accepted the opportunity and began to create the article ‘Your Choices Create Your Life’. My question to you is…what choices are you making every day? Are they leading you closer to or further away from your potentiality (the person you are meant to be)? Please read the article and other inspiring works in the July 21st issue of Coaches Mojo.

Thanks to Colin Ude-Lewis (@ColinLewis) for the opportunity, and for publishing the weekly newsletter.

~Linda

Actually, the title should be ‘The Wisdom of Dory.’ Recently I was spending a relaxing evening at home and was in search of an enjoyable movie. As I surfed the channels I came across Finding Nemo. A classic and one of my very favorites. There are so many dialogue gems in the script! (I quote Dory often in my life!) On this occasion, one scene really made me think. Dory and Marlin (Nemo’s father) are hitching a ride inside a whale on their way to rescue Nemo (at 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney). Marlin is loosing hope, yet again (a very ‘glass half full’ guy). Dory’s response to him is admirable, and one I advise we all follow a little more. The exchange goes something like this:

MARLIN: I promised him (Nemo) I’d never let anything happen to him.

DORY: Huh. That’s a funny thing to promise.

MARLIN: What?

DORY: Well, you can’t never let anything happen to him. Then nothing would ever happen to him. Not much fun for little Harpo.

How true that is! We try so hard to avoid bad things happening that we don’t truly live! How much more valuable were lessons from failures than from successes? If everything was easy, we would never feel accomplishment of overcoming obstacles. If you want to have a good life, get into action! Life is about experiences. From an existential view, we know that both good and bad things will happen (We hope!). The world is absurd, crazy, and uncertain. Deal with it! (harsh, I know) Better yet…live it! Live in spite of the uncertainty, absurdity, and suffering. Live, learn, and love.

That’s all I wanted to say. Thanks for reading.

As an existential coach, I don’t like to group people together in stereotypes. I believe each individual is very unique and can add value to any situation. But I have to face facts: my brain can only create, store, and recall so many individual categories! So I, like most others, try to group people together and generalize these groups based on similarities. One of those categories is Generations. What generation does a person belong to?

But even that question does not have a simple answer. Just because I am born in a particular year does not mean I ‘belong’ to a generation. This is one of the main points of the Managing Across Generations workshop. It is a workshop developed by my business partner, Deb Denis, and I last year. The focus is how to Coach or manage across the 4 (or more) generations that are currently in the workforce. But the first obstacle is often identifying which generation a person relates with (not belongs to). That one distinction can make the difference between a successful connection and an alienating experience.

In the coming weeks, I will be posting more information here about the generational nuances and some of the great moments Deb and I have had conducting these workshops. But in the meantime, I would like to invite you sample the workshop at this month’s ASTD (American Society of Training and Development) lunch meeting in northern Alabama. The topic is Managing Across Generations and here is the information…please join me!

When: March 24, 2009, 11:30 a.m. to 1 p.m.
Where: Redstone Federal Credit Union, 220 Wynn Drive, Huntsville AL
Subject: Managing Across Generations
Meeting Dues: $20 for non-members; $15 for members or for guests of members at the meeting
Reservations required: Reserve your seat by e-mailing the treasurer (JohnHightower@LFSP.com)  or calling voice mail (256)539-7117.

Reservations need to be made by close of business on the Friday, March 20, before the scheduled meeting on Tuesday, March 24.

Link to ASTD NA (North Alabama)

So are you an HSP? Even if your results do not indicate that you are a highly sensitive person, you most likely have one in your life…and you will both benefit from understanding a little more about the trait. It will help you understand each other’s needs. I did not score high on the test myself, but many of the statements were very true for me and that interested me enough to buy the book. I  found many of the techniques and recommendations very useful. In the world we experience currently, there is so much information, so many choices, and so much change that even those who are not HSPs by trait my experience overstimulation from the world around them.

The author spends a great deal of the book going back to an HSPs infancy and childhood. Although I understand the importance of this and how one needs to recognize where beliefs were established, there was just too much of the past for me. I was much more interested in what action a person can take now to be more balanced and happy. In that, the author provided some content on reframing those past beliefs and ‘reparenting’ oneself which focuses on the present and future.

While reading the book I experienced a bit of HSP behavior myself. Like many HSPs, I have a creative side and am always thinking of new ideas and projects. I had begun to create piles for each of these ideas/projects in my office. This, along with my collection of books, my many sticky notes, and a growing about of geek toys, was just too much for my brain to handle. One day as I walked into my office I felt my pulse and breath quickened, my head felt like it was going to pop off like a pressure cooker. I had reached my limit of stimulation. It was time for action. I went into what I call my ‘Bewitched‘ mode. You remember the TV show, right?  I don’t recall the episode, but I recall Samantha having to use her powers to clean the house quickly. She put herself on fast forward and zipped past the camera in a bit of a blur. That is what happens when I can’t take the clutter any more. It is exhausting, but less so than trying to work in a cluttered room when my mind keeps wondering from one idea-pile to another.

I learned in Dr. Aron’s book that there is just too much stimulation in my office when it is like that. After putting away my piles and books and almost everything but my laptop and my current project, I was able to focus in a calm and centered way. I was even more creative and productive than before! Woohoo! This is, of course, just one example. I’ve since been using my new awareness to avoid overstimulation in the first place. I have always known that I needed quite time on a daily basis…now I know why.

Most importantly, the author explains that we all need to be aware of our need to be balanced when it comes to the amount of stimulation in our environment and lives. Too much and we are overwhelmed, too little and we are bored. We are al individuals and that is nothing new to the existentialist.

Thanks for visiting!

Here are a couple of HSP resources:

Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D. (author) – The Highly Sensitive Person

Jenna Avery (HSP life coach) – Highly Sensitive Souls

I love books. No, this isn’t a new realization. Anyone who knows me knows that my home away from home is the local Barnes & Noble bookstore. I have shelves and shelves of books on topics from science to snoopy. But I have a problem. I buy more books than I can read, and I feel I should read everything…and now! Am I alone? How many books have you bought because they either 1) look interesting, 2) are a classic and you feel you ‘should’ have it, or 3) it’s on the ‘must read’ list of some respected person. Well, today I’ve come to the realization that I will never be able to read every book I want…because I want to read them all! My expectations were set high once I discovered the magic and power of books many years ago. I’ve often had the fantasy of being independently wealthy enough to do nothing but read. I wanted to read every book. Not only that, but I wanted to understand everything in those books! And finally, I wanted to write my own books. Now that I read that I’m thinking…how boring!

As an existential coach, I realize that spending all of my time reading ABOUT life and not living it is really not who I am nor who I want to become. So I needed to make a change. A radical change (of mind). I decided to reframe my approach to knowledge gathering and limit my love of books to only those that added value and supported my desire to live passionately and intensely through experience. I needed to not read every book and maybe even not finish every book I started. I have always been taught to ‘finish what you started’ and ‘you can play after your chores are finished’ (sound familiar?) I needed to reframe my belief and allow myself to sometimes, when appropriate, not finish a book. (Even writing that phrase feels a little strange…it’s as if I hear the ominous voice of James Earl Jones thundering all around me: NOT FINISH A BOOK!) Yes, I said, not finish a book.

Let’s face it, some books are great and some…not so much…and some are just not great for me. The trick is knowing when to put it down…unread, incomplete, back on the self! For some of us it is difficult not to finish a book…not to have “closure” (literally, of the back cover!) But I value my time very much, so I needed to come up with a way to guide my decision. Linda’s guide to (not)reading: Each book fits into one of these categories (for me):

Can’t put it down: Well, this is no problem. If it’s so good I read it in one or two sittings then it is clearly a book of value either to enhance my knowledge, or as pure enjoyment. Finish the book!

Deep thoughts and difficult concepts: The book is interesting but has either a very thought provoking topic, is dense with information, or is technical and difficult to read. I read a little at a time and take breaks to allow what I’ve read to mingle with my other thoughts and knowledge. Somewhere along the process I either crave more information about the topic, or I grow tired of thinking of it. At the point of growing tired, I put the book back on my shelf. This is a dangerous area as I am usually driven to finish the book regardless (pride?). Finish only if adding value!

Full of information: If I need the information right now, I’ll read only what I need and put the book back on the shelf. If I don’t need the information now, no sense reading it (as I’ll likely forget it). So I put the book on the shelf to maybe read someday. I’m secure in that fact that it is there if I need it (but I may never need it!)

Reminds me of primary school textbook: This is a book that is a struggle to read; does not keep my interest; that I end up re-reading several pages to try and understand what just happened. Stop now! Do not finish the book! In fact, give it away – remove the temptation!

So to all of the book lovers like me that are struggling with reading everything (and reading it completely) please consider that it is OK to stop reading a book and never pick it up again. Books are magical and can teach, entertain, and inspire. They are great in supporting us in living our lives passionately and fully. So put that book down and pick up another, and another, and another, until you find the one you love to read cover to cover.

Interview

• What’s your favorite color & what does it symbolize for you? Wow that is a lot more difficult than I thought! I have to narrow this down to the color I like to look at vs. what I like to wear or eat Right now I would have to say sunflower yellow is my favorite color. To me it evokes a smile and thoughts of the feeling of warm sunshine on my face and of energy the sun brings to the world.
• What do you do when you see that it’s started to snow? Ah snow. I’m originally from western PA so I’ve grown up with lots of snow. I can actually smell snow in the air before the first flake hits my face. At the first sign of snow I just look out and watch the beautiful snowflakes saunter down the sky with such purpose and ease. I may even hum a little of “let it snow” If there is going to be a lot of snow I make a yummy cup of hot chocolate and curl up on a comfy chair with a good view! Then I go and make snow angels!
• If you had to drink only one drink for the rest of your life, what would it be and why? Water…clear, refreshing, crisp, pure spring water. I love other beverages (Chai Latte and espresso are two of my favorites) but don’t think I could drink them for the rest of my life. With water, I can always add a little something to have variety!
• What fear do you have that you most want to get over? OK…here is where my existential self takes over! I could go on and on…but I won’t! And no, I don’t fear death (at least no more that every other person) What I fear is  not living my life fully (because of other fears?) That’s a conversation for my coach and I.  Each day I have an intention to take action every day to help be that purpose-living being.  BTW, this is such a great coaching question!
• What would you say in your six-word memoir? (If you need help, go here: http://is.gd/ahOv). Well, first of all I’m thinking…only 6 words? UGH I like to write/talk too much to limit it. Or maybe it’s as easy as:

Thanks, It’s a blast being here!

THE INTERVIEW RULES (adapted from: whenigrowupcoach.com)
* DM me on twitter saying: “interview me”
* all comments will be published, if they are from real people / no robot spanners please
* I will e-mail you five questions of my choice (you must provide your email)
* you can then answer the questions on your blog (with a link back to my blog)
* you should also post these rules, along with an offer to interview anyone else who e-mails you wanting to be interviewed
* anyone who asks to be interviewed should be sent 5 questions to answer on their blog
* it would be nice if the questions were individualized for each blogger

See other questions asked by  whenigrowupcoach.com

What better time to reach out to those people in your life than Valentine’s Day! It’s not just for lovers!

Remember when you were in grade school and you brought dozens of valentines to put in each of your classmate’s boxes? Why did we stop that? What a wonderful tradition! (you were smiling at the thought, weren’t you!) Wouldn’t you love to receive a little note of appreciation, acknowledgment, reminder that you have friends that are there for you? So do it! Take action!

I’m going to send virtual valentines (#Valentine) this year. I want all of my tweeple and people to know that they play an important role in my life. I encourage you to do the same. You may be surprised at the result. At the very least, you will have made someone smile!

Here is the story that started me thinking…I’m sure it’s been sent around and around and I don’t know the original author so I hope that person doesn’t mind me sharing this:

Mayonnaise Jar and Two Beers

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 Beers.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.

When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full.They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous ‘yes.’

The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

‘Now,’ said the professor as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things—your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions—and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.

The sand is everything else—the small stuff. ‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ he continued, ‘there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. Take care of the golf balls first—the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented.

The professor smiled and said, ‘I’m glad you asked.’ The Beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of Beers with a friend.

Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass…it’s learning how to dance in the rain!